Kurt Warner = Vagina

This was written before Kurt Warner re-signed with the Cardinals. It's still worth noting because it helps document his vaginaness.

Further proof that Kurt Warner is a vagina. In what seemed like an attempt to force the Arizona Cardinal's hand, Warner paid a visit to divisional foe San Francisco. They watered (Jesus wouldn't approve of wine) and dined him. He spent time at the 49er complex. His wife, Brenda Susan Powers Warner, tagged along for the visit. One presumes so they could pray and ask Jesus which teams millions He would take.

It seems a perfectly normal business and football move. You don't like the offer so go test the market. Then Warner's vagina starts to emerge. The 49ers made an offer reportedly in the neighborhood of what Warner is asking ($14 million per year). Now instead of letting the Cardinals sweat he comes back and makes a counter offer to them. What??? A counter offer to a team you just left to visit another?

Come on Mr. Vagina, that's a new vagina low for you. Let them come to you. Make them up the offer. You may have to come down some if you want to stay in the desert but don't be the first to make a move. Don't go courting someone else and start lowballing yourself. That is against anything taught in Negotiations 101. But I'd expect nothing less from a vagina of Warner's magnitude.

Just remember Warner: What would Jesus do? He'd probably kick Warner in the nuts (that's assuming he has nuts and further assuming his wife isn't really the man in the family).