Unfucking believable. There is clueless and then there is dipshit worthlessness. And then there is Peter King.
A brief recap. King loves giving Brett Favre blowjobs in his weekly Monday Morning Quarterback column for Sports Illustrated. He also loves name dropping on who he exchanges after game texts and cell phone calls.
Then he is just flat out incompetent.
To wit, Kings his Top 15 for the NFL.
At No. 15 he has the Tennessee Titans. You know that team that is 0-2. The team that lost to defending champion Steelers. After that game, a top ranking might still be justifiable. But then the Titan defense gets lit up by the Houston Texans.
As a Texans fan, I can understand the Texans not having rank. But to put an 0-2 team on there is just pure ass kissing, incompetent writing. How about one of the other 1-1 teams instead of an 0-2 team. Last I checked one win beats no wins.
King you move to the front of the class as the top hack in the Monkee Cage.
Monday, September 21, 2009
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Picks vs. Spread Week One Results, Week Two Picks
Off to a lousy start. Your favorite Unkle Monkee finished week one with a dismal 7-9 record against the spread. Not good if I wanted to make a living at this. Thank God I don't nor have any desire to.
What went right? As I thought, +6 for the Titans was to much a spread against the Steelers. The difference ended up only three with the game going into OT. I figured the Ravens would roll the Chiefs but was surprised in the points put up by the Chiefs. It was just a friendly reminder on why I don't even try to guess on the over/unders.
One thing I'm trying more is to follow up on trends. One thing I figured on was the Panthers not shaken off the disaster in last year's playoffs. It paid off. Jake Delhomme picked up right where he left off with turnovers and the Eagles netting me a win.
Intense rivalries are hard to pick but I usually bet against a wide spread. Case in point was the Raiders (+9) hosting the Chargers. Games like this one can go either way and the spread was just to big. Raiders lost but covered.
What went wrong? More than went right. I thought the Dolphns would put up a better fight against the Falcons. Wrong. On the other hand, I didn't think the Jags would put up such a hard fight against the Colts. I should have paid more attention to the series history. Jags usually put up a tough game for the Colts.
Three games that really bit me in the ass were Lions-Saints, Bills-Pats and Seahawks-Rams. I figured the season opener would put more spunk into the Lions and Rams. Both teams appear to have picked up where they left off last season. The Rams accomplished the only goose egg on the scoreboard. I thought the Pats would roll the Bills. I thought the Bills firing of the offensive coordinator would hurt them. It didn't.
Double Digit Spreads
There were three double spreads this week. I took two of them and lost. In the Bills-Pats, I discounted the divisional rivalry and lost. I thought the Lions would put up a better fight. Chiefs lived up the bad billing.
Week 2 Picks
As usual, I use the odds posted at FoxSports.com. Picks are in bold.
Carolina (+6) @ Atlanta - The Panthers suffered carry over from last years playoffs and the Falcons beat the other NFL surprise of 2008. The Falcons don't have the defense anywhere near what the Eagles brought last week. This is a tough game to call but I'm think the Panthers cover but lose.
St. Louis (+10) at Washington - Until the Lambs prove they can beat a double digit spread I'm going against them. The shut out doesn't help matters. Redskins
Houston (+6.5) @ Tennessee - The Texans couldn't move the ball or stop the NY Jets last week. It doesn't get any easier against the Titans.
New Orleans @ Philadelphia - two pick 'ems and two no lines. No selection due to no new info on Donovan McNabb or Kevin Kolb gets the start.
New England (-4) @ NY Jets - This line is about right. Patriots
Oakland (+3) @ Kansas City - Plus three for the Raiders. Are you kidding me? Raiders
Arizona (+3) @ Jacksonville - If no one is there to watch, will the game still make a noise. This is a toss up. Cards
Cincinnati (+9) @ Green Bay - To much credit to Green Bay and putting to much stock in last year's Bengals. Bengals
Minnesota (-10) @ Detroit - that the money and run. Vikes
Tampa Bay (+5) @ Buffalo - Bills ready to play and win after putting up a good fight against Pats. Bills
Seattle (+1.5) @ 49ers - This should be a pick em. Toss a coin and go with it. I would give the 49ers (-3) but bookies no more than me. 49ers
Pittsburgh (-3) @ Chicago - I think the line is about right. More than three and I'd go with the Bears but at three I go with the Steelers.
Baltimore (+3) @ San Diego - A toss up. Home field gets the Chargers an automatic (-3). Ravens
Cleveland (+3) @ Denver - A miserable game to pick from. Broncos
NY Giants (+3) @ Dallas - Dallas playing in the new digs for the home opener sets up nicely for the Giants.
Indianapolis (-3) @ Miami - Dolphins and home cooking don't amount to much. Colts
What went right? As I thought, +6 for the Titans was to much a spread against the Steelers. The difference ended up only three with the game going into OT. I figured the Ravens would roll the Chiefs but was surprised in the points put up by the Chiefs. It was just a friendly reminder on why I don't even try to guess on the over/unders.
One thing I'm trying more is to follow up on trends. One thing I figured on was the Panthers not shaken off the disaster in last year's playoffs. It paid off. Jake Delhomme picked up right where he left off with turnovers and the Eagles netting me a win.
Intense rivalries are hard to pick but I usually bet against a wide spread. Case in point was the Raiders (+9) hosting the Chargers. Games like this one can go either way and the spread was just to big. Raiders lost but covered.
What went wrong? More than went right. I thought the Dolphns would put up a better fight against the Falcons. Wrong. On the other hand, I didn't think the Jags would put up such a hard fight against the Colts. I should have paid more attention to the series history. Jags usually put up a tough game for the Colts.
Three games that really bit me in the ass were Lions-Saints, Bills-Pats and Seahawks-Rams. I figured the season opener would put more spunk into the Lions and Rams. Both teams appear to have picked up where they left off last season. The Rams accomplished the only goose egg on the scoreboard. I thought the Pats would roll the Bills. I thought the Bills firing of the offensive coordinator would hurt them. It didn't.
Double Digit Spreads
There were three double spreads this week. I took two of them and lost. In the Bills-Pats, I discounted the divisional rivalry and lost. I thought the Lions would put up a better fight. Chiefs lived up the bad billing.
Week 2 Picks
As usual, I use the odds posted at FoxSports.com. Picks are in bold.
Carolina (+6) @ Atlanta - The Panthers suffered carry over from last years playoffs and the Falcons beat the other NFL surprise of 2008. The Falcons don't have the defense anywhere near what the Eagles brought last week. This is a tough game to call but I'm think the Panthers cover but lose.
St. Louis (+10) at Washington - Until the Lambs prove they can beat a double digit spread I'm going against them. The shut out doesn't help matters. Redskins
Houston (+6.5) @ Tennessee - The Texans couldn't move the ball or stop the NY Jets last week. It doesn't get any easier against the Titans.
New Orleans @ Philadelphia - two pick 'ems and two no lines. No selection due to no new info on Donovan McNabb or Kevin Kolb gets the start.
New England (-4) @ NY Jets - This line is about right. Patriots
Oakland (+3) @ Kansas City - Plus three for the Raiders. Are you kidding me? Raiders
Arizona (+3) @ Jacksonville - If no one is there to watch, will the game still make a noise. This is a toss up. Cards
Cincinnati (+9) @ Green Bay - To much credit to Green Bay and putting to much stock in last year's Bengals. Bengals
Minnesota (-10) @ Detroit - that the money and run. Vikes
Tampa Bay (+5) @ Buffalo - Bills ready to play and win after putting up a good fight against Pats. Bills
Seattle (+1.5) @ 49ers - This should be a pick em. Toss a coin and go with it. I would give the 49ers (-3) but bookies no more than me. 49ers
Pittsburgh (-3) @ Chicago - I think the line is about right. More than three and I'd go with the Bears but at three I go with the Steelers.
Baltimore (+3) @ San Diego - A toss up. Home field gets the Chargers an automatic (-3). Ravens
Cleveland (+3) @ Denver - A miserable game to pick from. Broncos
NY Giants (+3) @ Dallas - Dallas playing in the new digs for the home opener sets up nicely for the Giants.
Indianapolis (-3) @ Miami - Dolphins and home cooking don't amount to much. Colts
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
NFL Week #1
NFL Week #1
Somebody actually got on me for not having this out yet. What the phuk is wrong with you?
Side note: I finally got around to watching Tropic Thunder. Other than Robert Downey playing an Australian who under went a controversial race change operation, it was a pretty crappy movie.
Moving along, Thursday night football with the Titans at the Steelers was a great game. It was a real man’s game, not that Kurt Warner pretty boy scoring bullshit. It was hard hitting defense and running with a pass to keep the defense honest. It was appropriate that it went into overtime. The only draw back was Troy Palomalu going out with an injury. I hate seeing the great ones losing playing time to injury. I had a hard time choosing who to root for given that I hate both teams.
With my cheering dilemma in mind, I came up for a few simple rules on who to pull for in a game not involving your favorite team.
1. Always pull for the team playing the Cowboys.
2. Always cheer against a divisional foe.
3. If two divisional foes are playing, go for the team lowest in the standings.
4. Only root for a divisional opponent if their win enhances your team’s playoff chances or gives your team home field advantage in playoffs.
5. If the game has no affect on your team then go with your gut and cheer for the team you hate the least. For example, I hate the Steelers. I hate Kurt Warner. The question during the Super Bowl was who do I hate more: Steelers or Warner? Considering that I wouldn’t mind seeing Warner carried out in a body bag, I cheered for the Steelers to kill Warner and outcome be damned.
The Weekly Honors
Vince Young/Joe Pisarcik Player of the Week
Michael Crabtree – unsigned rookie
Crabtree, feeling that the 49ers are under bidding him, not only is holding out but is threatening to sit out the year and reentering the draft next year. Crabtree needs to Google baseball player Matt Harrington. The Colorado Rockies drafted Harrington 7th overall. He refused to sign his original rookie contract under the advice of his agent. He reentered the draft four more times. Each time he was selected lower than the previous year. He never signed or played in the major leagues.
Box Score Line of the Week
Drew Brees – 26 completions on 34 attempts for 358 yards and SIX touchdowns with one interception.
Herm Edwards Coach of the Week
Gary Kubiak – The Texans, with playoff aspirations, came out flat on both sides of the ball. The Texans made no adjustments through out the game and let a rookie quarterback making his first start carve up the defense. 15 more games like this and Kubiak will be looking for a new job.
Somebody actually got on me for not having this out yet. What the phuk is wrong with you?
Side note: I finally got around to watching Tropic Thunder. Other than Robert Downey playing an Australian who under went a controversial race change operation, it was a pretty crappy movie.
Moving along, Thursday night football with the Titans at the Steelers was a great game. It was a real man’s game, not that Kurt Warner pretty boy scoring bullshit. It was hard hitting defense and running with a pass to keep the defense honest. It was appropriate that it went into overtime. The only draw back was Troy Palomalu going out with an injury. I hate seeing the great ones losing playing time to injury. I had a hard time choosing who to root for given that I hate both teams.
With my cheering dilemma in mind, I came up for a few simple rules on who to pull for in a game not involving your favorite team.
1. Always pull for the team playing the Cowboys.
2. Always cheer against a divisional foe.
3. If two divisional foes are playing, go for the team lowest in the standings.
4. Only root for a divisional opponent if their win enhances your team’s playoff chances or gives your team home field advantage in playoffs.
5. If the game has no affect on your team then go with your gut and cheer for the team you hate the least. For example, I hate the Steelers. I hate Kurt Warner. The question during the Super Bowl was who do I hate more: Steelers or Warner? Considering that I wouldn’t mind seeing Warner carried out in a body bag, I cheered for the Steelers to kill Warner and outcome be damned.
The Weekly Honors
Vince Young/Joe Pisarcik Player of the Week
Michael Crabtree – unsigned rookie
Crabtree, feeling that the 49ers are under bidding him, not only is holding out but is threatening to sit out the year and reentering the draft next year. Crabtree needs to Google baseball player Matt Harrington. The Colorado Rockies drafted Harrington 7th overall. He refused to sign his original rookie contract under the advice of his agent. He reentered the draft four more times. Each time he was selected lower than the previous year. He never signed or played in the major leagues.
Box Score Line of the Week
Drew Brees – 26 completions on 34 attempts for 358 yards and SIX touchdowns with one interception.
Herm Edwards Coach of the Week
Gary Kubiak – The Texans, with playoff aspirations, came out flat on both sides of the ball. The Texans made no adjustments through out the game and let a rookie quarterback making his first start carve up the defense. 15 more games like this and Kubiak will be looking for a new job.
Thursday, September 10, 2009
Week 1 Unkle Monkee vs. the Spread
NFL Week 1 Picks
It’s that time of year again. Me vs. the Spread.
The rules are simple. I’m using the odds posted on Foxsports.com which lists odds from different book makers. I went with the odds posted on Tuesday so if there are any discrepancies it's due to updated odds. Most are usually the same spread but when a difference occurs, I go with the majority. If there is no line posted, I cannot make it a selection and call it a pick ‘em. Pushes don’t count since in Vegas I wouldn’t win or lose.
I didn’t keep a running tally last year but I have it on empirical evidence that I would have lost my ass in Vegas. I will try to keep a running tally this year. I won’t pick straight up. That’s too easy and that’s the reason there are point spreads.
Over/under bets are sucker bets so I don’t pick.
Titans (+6) @ Steelers – Titans may have a chip on their shoulders after posting the best record but failing to advance in the playoffs. Steelers and the home crowd will be fired up. I imagine a defensive battle. Take the Titans and the points.
Dolphins (-4) @ Falcons – The two surprise teams of last season meet first. The Falcons defense has plenty of holes but the “Wildcat” formation became decreasingly productive. I’ll stick with the road favorite Dolphins.
Chiefs (+13) @ Ravens - Double digit spreads are usually a dangerous bet. I think this game is the exception to the rule. The Chiefs are a mess with no apparent offensive direction. Mix in the Ravens defense at home and a happy blowout occurs. Ravens.
Broncos (+4) @ Bengals – Broncos are in bad shape. The Bengals look to return to the playoff hunt with Carson Palmer back at quarterback. Bengals win handily.
Vikings (-4) @ Browns – The point spread was from 3-4.5 but two books have a 4 point spread. Drama Queen Brett Favre makes his Vikings debut. Adrian Peterson runs amok in
Jaguars (+7) @ Colts – Plenty of question marks in this game. Was 2008 just an off season for the Jags. Will the loss of Tony Dungy affect Peyton Manning? This much I know, the Colts are much better team than the Jags. Colts.
Lions (+13) @ Saints – Drew Brees in one of the best in the game and the Lions are one of the worst. The Lions though have been purged and a new regime rules the land. While they don’t win, I think an inspired Lions make it a closer than 13 point contest. Lions.
Cowboys (-6) @ Buccaneers – Uh boy, I don’t even have to try on this selection. Bucs have gone from contender to laughing stock in two seasons. Jon Gruden is gone and so is the new offensive coordinator before just days before the season. Cowboys.
Jets (+4.5) @ Texans – Two books had Jets (+5), two had Jets (+4.5) and one had no line. I went with the 4.5 spread to avoid the possibility of a push. Texans plan to unveil their new defense against the Jets rookie quarterback. The Jets will try to pound the ball and the Texans run defense is suspect. The Texans are a good home team. Texans.
Eagles (-2) @ Panthers – Panthers were a disaster in the playoffs and I expect a hangover from that loss. The Eagles though were one game away from the Super Bowl and are reloaded. Eagles.
49ers (+6.5) @ Cardinals – The Cards bulked up the running game with Beanie Wells and still boast the three headed WR monster of Anquan Bolden, Larry Fitzgerald and Steve Breaston. Cards win handily at home.
Rams (+8.5) @ Seahawks – 8.5 points is to much for an opening game. Every team is fired up at some level about the season opener. I think bookies are banking on people remembering last year’s listless Rams. Rams lose but cover the spread.
Redskins (+6.5) @ Giants – Again too many points for a home opener and two division rivals who have an intense rivalry. Redskins make a game of it and cover.
Bears (+3.5) @ Packers – Bookies are giving
Bills (+10.5) @ Patriots – The Bills are another team who fired the offensive coordinator days before the season opener. The Terrell Owens show is in town. Dick Juaron is on the hotseat. Tom Brady returns from his injury ready to prove he’s healthy. Pats roll the Bills on Monday Night Football.
Chargers (-9) @ Raiders – Bookies are counting on people remembering the Raiders of last year and forgetting the Chargers. The Chargers started off slow. This is an intense division rivalry. Raiders lose but cover.
Monday, September 7, 2009
Houston Cougars 55 Northwestern St. 7
Honestly it was nothing more than a glorified scrimmage. The Northwestern St. Demons were merely a sacrificial lamb to the College Football Gods.
The Demons visit was a homecoming of sorts for their head coach Bradley Peveto. Peveto served as UH defensive coordinator in another life.
The announced attendance was a little over 22,000. I find it a little disappointing considering the expectations for the Cougars this year. I'd like to see more UH alum and casual fans come out the games. This is nothing new and has been an on going problem since long before I attended UH.
On the field the offense, lead by junior QB Case Keenum, looked ready for the season. Keenum picked up from where he left off last season. He tossed the ball for 355 yards while completing 23 of 30 attempts (76.7%). He threw four touchdown passes and ran another one in. He played the first half and one series into the second half.
The defense pretty much manhandled the hapless Demons all night save for one TD drive and when the back ups started to play.
The only concern going forward is the special teams. One blocked extra point, one missed field goal and a long return late in the game show that there is room for improvement.
As for the back ups, RB Wilson seemed to have a nice night. QB Cotton Turner looked like he had first game jitters but hopefully that's all it is. Right now I'm not to confident on how he'd handle a game should Keenum go down. Heralded true freshman A.J. Dugat burned his redshirt last night and made his debut. He got a late start practicing with the Cougars due to a delay in the NCAA clearing him to play. He had a nice catch on his first play and had a few other attempts thrown his way.
Next up the Coogs travel to Stillwater, OK to take on the Oklahoma St. Cowboys. The No. 9 Cowboys beat the No. 13 Georgia Bulldogs in Stillwater 24-10. The win should move them up in the rankings. The Coogs need to bring the A+++ game to win.
Opening Kick Off
The Demons visit was a homecoming of sorts for their head coach Bradley Peveto. Peveto served as UH defensive coordinator in another life.
The announced attendance was a little over 22,000. I find it a little disappointing considering the expectations for the Cougars this year. I'd like to see more UH alum and casual fans come out the games. This is nothing new and has been an on going problem since long before I attended UH.
On the field the offense, lead by junior QB Case Keenum, looked ready for the season. Keenum picked up from where he left off last season. He tossed the ball for 355 yards while completing 23 of 30 attempts (76.7%). He threw four touchdown passes and ran another one in. He played the first half and one series into the second half.
The defense pretty much manhandled the hapless Demons all night save for one TD drive and when the back ups started to play.
The only concern going forward is the special teams. One blocked extra point, one missed field goal and a long return late in the game show that there is room for improvement.
As for the back ups, RB Wilson seemed to have a nice night. QB Cotton Turner looked like he had first game jitters but hopefully that's all it is. Right now I'm not to confident on how he'd handle a game should Keenum go down. Heralded true freshman A.J. Dugat burned his redshirt last night and made his debut. He got a late start practicing with the Cougars due to a delay in the NCAA clearing him to play. He had a nice catch on his first play and had a few other attempts thrown his way.
Next up the Coogs travel to Stillwater, OK to take on the Oklahoma St. Cowboys. The No. 9 Cowboys beat the No. 13 Georgia Bulldogs in Stillwater 24-10. The win should move them up in the rankings. The Coogs need to bring the A+++ game to win.
Block "H" Formation
Player Intros
Opening Kick Off
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