Week 12 results vs. the Spread

Not a good week. I'll never make a leaving at this. I went 5-10 this week. I evidently over looked the Bucs-Lions game.

My sucker bet theory got blown out of the water last week. I had stated that just about any double digit spread was a sucker bet and to take the underdog. Ouch. The Bengals were routed by the Steelers(-11) and the 49ers got whipped by the Cowboys(-10). The game that was close enough to sucker bet territory was the Raiders(+9.5) at the Broncos. I went with the favored Broncos and of course they lose. Same thing happened with the Rams(+8.5) hosting the Bears. I thought that it was going to be a low scoring game. In which case it would favor the Rams. Dumb ass. Rams are back to Scott Linehan coaching form. The Browns had been a pretty healthy pick for me for most of the season. Not against the Texans(+3). I don't think the Browns will be a safe pick for the rest of the season. Of course the Titans had be another safe pick but the Jets(+5) put and end to the unbeaten streak. I still don't know why I picked the Packers over the Saints. It was a poor choice to say the least. I expected a much closer game.

On the plus side of the ledger, two fo the three road dogs paid off. I got the Patriots (+1.5) at the Dolphins right and the Vikings (+2.5) over the Jaguars right. The other three I picked right were Bills(-3) at KC, Ravens(-1) hosting the Eagles and Giants(-3) at the Cardinals.

With three games on Thursday, I could have an indication of how my week will go. At least I hope I start off on the right foot.

Week 13 Picks vs. the Spread

I haven't tallied last weeks picks but I should have them tonight.

Week 13 Picks against the Spread

Titans(-11) @ Lions - The Titans are coming off their first loss of the season and the Lions are trying to get their first win of the season. I've been staying away from picking double digit underdogs the last two weeks. I'm thinking this might be an exception. Titans

Seahawks(+13) @Cowboys - Another double digit spread and another quandary for me. I view them as sucker bets for the most part. Dallas though has been traditionally strong on Thanksgiving Day games and the Seahawks are going no where fast. Cowboys

Cardinals(+3) @Eagles - Donovan McNabb was pulled last week in favor of quarterback of the future Kevin Kolb. The Eagles are in disarray while the Cards are clicking along nicely. Take the road dog in this one. Cardinals

Broncos(+7.5) @Jets - Jets have the hot hand right now. Could they be in for a let down after inflicting the first loss on the Titans? Jets

49ers(+7) @Bills - This is one if I were actually betting money I would stay away from. Since no money is on the line I'll take 49ers

Saints(+3.5) @Buccaneers - Drew Brees went nuts on the Packers last week. The Bucs have a strong defense though. I think the Bucs prevails.

Panthers(+3) @Packers - I don't know what to make of the Packers this year. They are off and on. The ass whipping they took in New Orleans is a big set back. I think they bounce back this week. Packers

Giants(-3.5) @Redskins - Another rumble in the NFC East. Giants

Dolphins @Rams - No line except for VegasInsider. No pick per my rules.

Ravens(-7) @Bengals - Ravens

Falcons(+5) @Chargers - Michael Turner returns to San Diego but as a starter for the other team. Falcons

Colts(-5) @Browns - Brady Quinn maybe done for the year. Romeo Crennel maybe done soon. I think it is now safe to pick against the Browns. Colts

Steelers(+1) @Patriots - Steelers are being held together by band aids and duct tape. Patriots

Chiefs(+3) @Raiders - Sick match up of the week. Another one I wouldn't touch if I had money on the line. I'm surprised that this one isn't a pick 'em. Raiders

Bears(+3.5) @Vikings - What's this? Three games in a week that I wouldn't touch? You bet I wouldn't touch this one. Vikings

Jaguars(+3) @Texans - Monday Night Football in front of a quarter full stadium with two teams going no where. Texans

NFL Week #12 - Coach Death Watch Week!

No Shakespeare this week. I almost had a "O Romeo, Romeo wherefore art thou" turned into a "O playoffs, playoffs wherefore art thou" but didn't feel up to the task of being creative.

Anyway onto week 12. I hate the Dallas Cowboys. I hate the New Orleans Saints.

I'll start off with the losers and my usual Joe Pisarcik/Carson Palmer Player of the Week. There was a four way tie. So I morphed the players to make two players. The first morphed player of the week is Cleveland Browns quarterback Derek Anderquinn. Anderquinn was 13 of 32 passing for 145 yards and 3 INTs. The next one pains me. This player is a merging of one of my all time favorite players and a fellow Houston Cougar. Philadelphia Eagles quarterback Donovan McKolb passed for an unremarkable 18 of 41 for120 yards and 4 INTs. And in grand Cougar style, one of McKolb's INTs was returned for a record 108 yard TD. I'd say both QBs had JaMarcus Russell like numbers but he's not allowed to throw the ball more than 15 times a game.

Like the JP/CP Player of the Week, the real Player of the Week it was a tie. Matt Cassel and Michael Turner both earn that honor. I picked them not only for their outstanding numbers this week but also because they are exceeding expectations for the season. Cassel only had to step into All-Universe quarterback Tom Brady's spot twelve minutes into the season. He's proven not to be just a caretaker but actually has kept the Patriots in playoff contention. I didn't believe in all the hype surrounding Turner. I definitely thought he was nuts in going to Atlanta when he pretty could have gone any place he wanted based on hype. Instead he's helped the Falcons forget the disaster that was Michael Vick and Bobby Petrino.

Coach Death Watch Week!

It's kind of obvious who is out as head coaches. Some with merit and some without. At the top of the list of coaches that should get fired are Rod Marinelli, Herm Edwards and Jack Del Rio. Marinelli is just in a no win situation. Literally he is. Lions go 0-16. Edwards is just the worst coach in the NFL. Jack Del Rio is a close second to Edwards for worst coach. Del Rio couldn't coach his way out of a wet paper bag. Coaches that get fired but probably shouldn't are Marv Lewis, Romeo Crennel and Andy Reid. Lewis should get a mulligan for Carson Palmer being hurt for
most of the year. It's not his fault. Crennel had been building a winner until this season. Derek Anderson reverted to being David Anderson. Give Crennel one more year with Brady Quinn at the helm. Reid is just in a bad place. He's had a great quarterback in Donovan McNabb and a great running back in Brian Westbrook. What he hasn't had and management has given him is a great wide receiver. The one year they had Terrell Owens they got to the Super Bowl.

Of the three interim head coaches, none of them should keep their job. Mike Singletary isn't ready for prime time yet. He needs more time as an assistant but I think he will be okay in a few years. Jim Haslett got the Rams off to a hot start but they've cratered back to earth. Tom (I think that's his name) Cable in Oakland is gone too. Al Davis needs to fire someone in the off season.

As usual, the Texans for last. Great. Monday Night Football featuring two 4-7 teams. I bet it's a while before the Texans get a MNF game again. At least they won this week. Of course, who knew the Browns were more inept than the Texans....

Good night and Happy Thanksgiving.

NFL Week 11, Results against the Spread, Week 12 Picks

NFL Week 11
Note: Yes I did write this. I didn't lift it from some other website. I had started writing a satirical State of the Franchise speech by Bob McNair. Then the "Friend, Romans, Countrymen" speech came to mind. This is the result.

"Hi, this is Mark Vandermeer, the voice of the Houston Texans! We are gathered here for a special news conference called by Texans owner Bob McNair. Speculation has been running wild that he has decided to fire coach Gary Kubiak now instead of waiting until the end of the season. There he is now. What the hell is he doing in a toga? Let's see what he has to say."

"Fans, Texans, Houstonians, lend me your ears
For I come to praise Kubiak, not fire him
The evil that coaches do lives after them
The good is often interred in their resumes
So let it be with Kubiak. The noble media
Hath told you Kubiak was clueless:
If it were so, it was a grievous fault
And grievously hath Kubiak answered it.
Here, under leave of the media-
For the media are all honorable;
So are they all, all honorable reporters-
Come I to speak in Kubiak’s defense.
He was my friend, faithful and just to me:
But the media says he was clueless;
And the media are all honorable men.
He hath brought many fans home to Reliant,
Whose season tickets did my general coffers fill:
Did this in Kubiak seem clueless?
When the fans had cried, Kubiak hath wept.
Cluelessness should be made of weaker stuff;
Yet the media says he was clueless;
And the media are all honorable men.
You all did see that on Draft Day
I thrice presented him Vince Young,
Which he did thrice refuse: was this clueless?
Yet the media says he was clueless;
And, sure, the media are all honorable men.
I speak not to disprove what the media wrote.
But here I am to speak what I do know.
You all did cheer him once, not without cause:
What cause withholds you then to cheer for him now?
O fickle fans! Thou are fled to brutish beasts,
And fans have lost their reason! Bear with me;
My heart is in the contract there with Kubiak,
And I must pause till it expires with me."

"Uh, I think Bob McNair is competing with Al Davis for most insane
owner. Back to you guys in the studio."

My apologies to William Shakespeare.

Week 11 Results vs. the Spread
After a tremendous week ten against the spread, I fell back to earth with a 7-8 record. As per the guidelines I set up at the beginning of the season, I didn't make a pick between Bears vs. Packers since there was no line posted when I made my selections.

What did me in this week? I took a bunch of points in what turned out to be sucker bets. I bit on double digit spreads in taking the Panthers (-14) over the Lions and Dolphins (-10.5) over the Raiders. The bigger spreads hurt me too. The Texans(+8) over the Colts was tempting especially given their implosion against the Ravens the previous week. The call at the end of game of the Chargers @Pittsburgh was another game that hurt the bottom line. I really thought the Redskins would pound the Cowboys into submission but they didn't.

On the plus side of the ledger, my Browns streak continues. It's very dangerous to pick against the Browns. Even if they lose they manage to keep within the spread. I figured right about the Giants(-7) against the Ravens. Like I stated when I made the pick, the Giants are just that good. They seem to be getting stronger as the season rolls on. I still don't get why the line was so low in the Titans(-3) at the Jaguars. Picking against the Titans is a sucker bet like picking against the Browns. The Titans are 9-1 against the spread.

I didn't know how to rule on the tie between the Bengals and Eagles (-9) but then I realized that a tie in the game is a loss for me. I picked the Eagles to win by more than nine. It was a tie and I lose. Ouch.

Finally, a word on the outcome of the Steelers and Chargers ending. The blown call at the end didn't change the outcome of the game but it changed the outcome for those who gambled. People who thought they wonsuddenly found themselves in the short end of the stick. That's just tough luck in my opinion. First, I don't think anyone should be betting with money they can't afford to lose. If you're betting the mortgage money on a game you need help. Second, bad calls are a risk in every game. It's why it's called gambling. Granted that referees shouldn't be affecting the outcome of a game but sometimes they do and it's part of the inherent risk of gambling. Bottom line in all gambling is that the outcome is influenced by multiple factors. That's just the nature of the game.

Week 12 Picks
Bengals(+11) @ Steelers - I'm learning this on the fly and not consulting any source to make my picks. I've learned that most double digit lines are sucker bets. Bengals

Texans(+3) @Browns - One thing I've repeatedly stated, pick agains the Browns at your own peril. Browns

Bills(-3) @Chiefs - At season's beginning the line would have been much higher. Shows how far the Bills have fallen. Bills

Jet's(+5) @Titans - Finally Titans get some betting respect. Beating up on the Bears and Jags have made them more than a three point favorite for a change. Titans

Patriots(+1.5) @Dolphins - The Pats lost a close one last week and the Dolphins blew them out with the Wildcat formation early in the season. I don't think a Bill Belichick let's the Fish blow them out again. I'll take the road dog in this one. Patriots

49ers(+10) @Cowboys - Sucker bet? The 'niners have played better offense the last two weeks. Dallas will try to get it's groove back in Tony Romo's second game back. 49ers

Eagles(+1) @Ravens - Ravens offense is more than complimenting the defense as of late except agianst the Giants. Aside from that game, the offense has put up 27, 29, 37 and 41 points. I'm telling you the Giants are that good. Ravens

Bears(-8.5) @Rams - Bears are sputtering on both sides of the ball. Rams have reverted to the Rams that got coach Scott Linehan fired. This should be a pretty low scoring affair. Rams

Vikings(+2.5) @Jaguars - Adrian Peterson runs amok in Jacksonville. Vikings

Panthers(+1) @Falcons - Is this a case of the Panthers getting little respect or the Falcons getting too much respect? I think the former. Panthers

Raiders(+9.5) @Broncos - This is close to sucker bet territory. The Raiders are in such disarray it's hard not to take the Broncos. Then again the Bronco defense can fall apart or not even show up. If I were really betting money, I wouldn't touch this game. But I'm not so I'll take the Broncos

Redskins(-3.5) @Seahawks - I think the Redskins will take a little frustration out on the hapless 'hawks. Matt Hasselbeck isn't full strength. Redskins

Giants(-3) @Cardinals - I like the Giants straight up in this one but I'll take them against the spread too. Giants

Colts(+3) @Chargers - I think we are about to see what the Chargers have in them for this game. Chargers

Packers(+2.5) @Saints - I don't like the Saints in this one. Don't ask why. Packers

NFL Week #10, Week 10 results agains the Spread, Week 11 picks

Only seven regular season games left for most teams. It's what makes the football season so intense is that only sixteen game are played. Each game carries such importance and ramifications for the season. A bad first half, barring miracles, usually dooms a team and gets the front office thinking about changes and the draft instead of looking forward to the playoffs. Just look at the hometown Texans. More on those bozos later.

New feature this week. I'm calling it the Vince Young Man-vagina Player of the Week not to be confused with the Joe Pisarcik/Carson Palmer Player of the Week. This week's winner in none other than the Pittsburgh Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger. His man-vagina was hurting after losing to the Indianapolis Colts. Rumor has it that Big Ben told Peyton Manning that he had a bigger schlong. Much to Big Ben's dismay, Manning whipped it out and proved Big Ben wrong. No, not really. Big Ben was crying in the locker room after the game, allegedly. According to SI.com:

'You'll never hear me say 'I' anything, but I lost this game,'' said Roethlisberger, who appeared to be crying into a towel when reporters entered the locker room. ''I take it on myself. I let the guys down on offense and defense. It hurts, but we'll learn from it.''

For showing that his mangina hurt, Roethlisberger joins Vince Young in the formation of the very exclusive Society of Effeminate NFL Quarterbacks Club. Dick Vermeil has petitioned to join as an honorary member. Nancy Kerrigan has been invited to speak at the next meeting. The topic: How to Cry on National TV and Gain Sympathy.

Al Davis is showing once again that he is more than a few sandwiches short of a picnic basket. Angry Al wanted players cut since evidently he was done firing coaches for now. DeAngelo Hall fell victim to Palpatine's aggression. According to Pro Football Weekly, instead of the cut sending a message to the players to shape up or ship out, the players are demoralized and feel like management has already given up on the season.

The circus in Dallas continues. Now receiver Roy Williams is starting to bitch and moan that the Cowboys aren't getting him the ball. Come on, Roy! At least wait until Mr. Jessica Simpson gets back to start the crying. You've had old man Brad Johnson at quarterback. He can't get the ball past the offensive line. Maybe this is proving my theory wrong that you can't have to many Roy Williams on your team.

Now for players of the week.

First is the Joe Pisarcik/Carson Palmer Player of the Week. Every week I see what JaMarcus Russell's line looks like but he's injured this week. My next candidate was the Texan's quarterback Sage Rosenpenis. Then I saw Jake Delhomme's line. An incredible 7 for 27 passing with one TD and FOUR INTs. Goes to show how bad the Raiders are though. Delhomme lead the Panthers to victory over the Raiders despite his crappy output.

Player of the Week: Denver Broncos WR Eddie Royal. He went off for 164 yards on six receptions for a sick average of 27.3 yards including his 93 yard TD reception. Factoring out the 93 yarder he still averaged 14.2 yards per catch.

And now for the Texans. What an inept club they are. I was pretty pissed off after that game against the Ravens. Sage Seinfeld channeled his inner David Carr and was just pathetic. He threw for a career high 294 yards and a beautiful four interceptions. Two right into the waiting arms of Ray Lewis.

The first INT went into the lap of a defensive lineman. Owen Daniels was wide open at the back of the endzone and Rosenbomb just needed to lob the ball. Instead he throws a dart right to a defensive lineman. That was just a sign of things to come. Next I looked up to see if Ray Lewis looks anything like Andre Johnson. Despite the the two looking nothing alike, especially given the bright purple uniforms of the Ravens, Rosiepalms thought so and gave two passes to Lewis.

Once again, despite Seinfeld bringing his comedy act to the Texans QB spot, I have to put the loss smack dab on head coach Gary Kubiak. Rossenbomb has already shown that he has the David Schaub/Matt Carr turnover bug. His helicopter imitation at the end of the Colts game along with his turnovers in the Vikings game should have put the warning lights off in Kubiak's thick skull. Ball on the one yard line and he calls a pass. Rosencopter throws the INT.

I know the Ravens have the second toughest run defense but you still have to challenge them. The Texans have a reputation of being some what of a wimpy, soft team. It's why players like Jared Allen take cheap shots at Schaub. They know no retaliation is coming. WIth the ball on the one yard line, the Texans need at least attempt once or twice to show the Ravens some toughness and try and blow them off the line and score. Man up and show some gut and balls.

I'll gripe more about the defense some other time. Suffice it to say it's composed of Mario Williams, DeMeco Ryans and nine other guys. Zack Diles was doing fine until he broke his leg on a NON-contact special teams drill. What phuking genius has a starting linebacker doing special team drills?


NFL Week 10 vs. the Spread results
This is my best week. EVAR. An incredible 10-1. The only blemish was the Dolphins not scoring enough to beat the spread (+8) against the Seahawks. Everything else broke my way. The Packers lost to the Vikings but they covered so I escaped that one with a with a win. Two notes to this week's results. First, I didn't get my picks in time to make a selection on the Browns-Broncos game. Second, I made no pick in the Steelers-Colts game. There was no line in the majority of the books. My policy is to use the line in the majority books are posting on FoxSports.com NFL odds.

NFL Week 11 vs. the Spread
Finally, I get started in time to pick a Thursday night game. All my picks are in bold.

Jets(+3.5) @ Patriots - This one is real tough. I'm going with the line and the Pats.

Broncos(-6.5) @Falcons - The Denver defense has been horrendous all season long. Matt Ryan and Michael Turner have been fueling the Falcons renaissance.

Raiders(+10.5) @Dolphins - I think the wheels are coming off the Oakland franchise. The Dolphins really aren't that potent though. I think the Raider players just don't care anymore. Dolphins

Ravens(+7) @Giants - I think the Giants win by more than seven given to the Ravens. Not that I don't think the Ravens are that bad. I think the Giants are that good.

Texans(+8) @Colts - I think the Texans are on the verge of mailing it in. Colts

Titans(-3) @ Jaguars - Only a -3 for the Titans? Haven't the bookmakers been watching this season? Didn't they notice Jake Delhomme's game last week? The Titan defense will be to much for the Jags. Titans

Bears @Packers - no line as of today. It opened at -4 Packers but Kyle Orton seems to have thrown a monkey wrench. The majority of books have no line and per Monkee Cage policy there is no selection.

Eagles(-9) @Bengals - The Bungles are back. Eagles

Saints(-5.5) @ Chiefs - I hate the Saints. I'm willing to take a hit on the record if it means the Saints lose. Saints

Lions(+14) @Panthers - Quarterback problems for an already rudderless team. Panthers

Vikings(+4) @Buccaneers - Snoozer of the week. Buccaneers

Rams(+6.5) @49ers - I take back calling the Vikes-Bucs game a snoozer. This is Snoozer of the Week. Who really cares? I still gotta make a pic. Uh 49ers

Cardinals(-3) @Seahawks - Cards have too much firepower for the 'hawks. Cardinals

Chargers(-5.5) @Steelers - Eh, that line is about right. Steelers

Cowboys(-1.5) @Redskins - Getting dangerously close to December when it almost becomes mandatory to pick against the Cowboys. I start early. Redskins

Browns(+5) @Bills - It's dangerous to pick against the Browns. Bills are in a free fall. Browns

Week 10 picks vs. the Spread, Week 8 results

Week 8 Results
I was on vacation last week so there were no week nine picks. I know it's late but here are the results of week eight.

It was an awful week. I hope no one is taking my advise. In fact I beg you not to go with my picks. I you do you do so at your own peril. If you do, then you deserve what you got coming.

That said, my record this week is 5-8-1. The five I picked correctly were Giants over Steelers, Titans over Colts, Browns over Jags, Redskins over Lions and Ravens over Raiders. Keep in mind that this is against the spread.

All season long, picking the Browns to at least cover has paid off. First one that I picked them was against the Giants in which they pulled off the upset. I picked them to cover against the 'skins and they lost but still covered. I went with them again against the Jags and it paid off.

I don't look for or read publications for trends. I'm just going on my scant knowledge of the game. The only trend I've spotted has been the Browns at least cover.

One game that I thought was a lock was the 49ers over the Hawks. The 49ers are in more disarray than I thought. Another game that shocked me was the Texans holding the Bengals to six points. The Chargers didn't cover against the Saints and the Dolphins shocked the Bills. Picking against the Dolphins is becoming a high risk move.

On to the week ten picks.

Week 10 Picks vs. the Spread

For reference purposes, I use Fox Sports odds page at Fox Sports NFL Odds.

Jaguars(-6.5) @Lions - Lions are hapless and Jags are a big disappointment this season. Lions though help an ailing Jaguars get back in the win column.

Titans (-3) @Bears - Rex Grossman still gets the Titans only a three point favorite? I think the Titans win by more.

Bills(+3.5) @Patriots - The Bills were an early surprise but lately they haven't been living up to suddenly high expectations. The Pats are plodding along in the Tom Bradyless season. Patriots

Saints(+1) @Falcons - Reggie Bush is still out but Drew Brees can put up high numbers despite who is out. Falcons are definitely a much improved team. I'm going with the home cooking in this probable slugfest. Falcons

Rams(+9) @Jets - Bruce Haslett's team has come back to earth after the Rams fired Scott Linehan. Brett Farve hasn't been a world beater lately but he doesn't have to be against the Rams. Jets

Seahawks(+8) @Dolphins - Pick against the Dolphins at your own peril. Seahawks are imploding despite a week eight blowout of the niners. Dolphins

Packers(+2.5) @Vikings - The Vikings are coming off a win against the Texans. It was the Texans. Brad Childress is 0-5 as head coach of the Vikings against the Packers. Packers

Panthers(-9.5) @Raiders - Al Davis is very unhappy and is now looking to cut players instead of coaches. Panthers are proving to be a strong team and emerging as a contender in the NFC. Panthers

Chiefs(+15.5) @Chargers - No QB. No RB. No win for the Chiefs. The question is the line to high? No. The Chiefs are a complete mess right now. While the Chargers are struggling, they have enough to blow out the Chiefs. Chiefs

Colts @Steelrs - No line. Only VegasInsider is offering a line (+3) Colts. My policy here is to go with the majority in event of discrepancies. No selection here. The no line is due the injury status of Ben Roethlisberger still up in the air.

Giants(+3) @Eagles - The best team in the NFL an underdog? The Giants should win. Philly has struggled against good defenses. Giants

Ravens(+) @Texans - No line with the Texans expected to win straight up. The game opened with Texans (-2). Texans have struggled mightily against teams that blitz frequently. Ravens

NFL Week #9

Better late than never. I turned this week into three day work week and next week into a two day work week by turning my four day weekend into a six day one. That's why this one is being written from home. On to week nine in the NFL.

Now taking the lead for my NFL Joe Pisarcik/Carson Palmer Player of the Year is this week's player of the week award that bears the same name: Jamarcus Russell. Just check out his box score line for the game: 6 pass completions on 19 attempts for 31 years and one interception. That's just outstanding. Yes, he played the whole game. Sadly that's not his first score line that bad. It's not a reflection of Russell's talent but more a product of the dysfunctional of the circus called the Oakland Raiders. Russell has one of the strongest arms in the NFL. He can easily sling the ball downfield 70 yards. Yes Joe Namath fans, Russell can aim his cannon of an arm. If Russell turns into a Andre Ware/Akili Smith/David Klinger bust it will be a result of the environment in Oakland. With the coaching change and battles between Lane Kiffin and Grandma Palpatine, it's no wonder Russell's development has been stunted.

My hat is off to the Steelers for recovering from the knock out punch the Giants threw them last week and going into Washington and handling the Redskins. One wonders though if Ben Roethlisberger will make it through the season up right. He's taking a beating behind that horrible Steeler line. As it stands, his status is up in the air for this week's game. Even as injury depleted as they are, the Steelers still might be able to sneak out of the AFC that is suddenly weak. Outside of the Titans, the AFC contenders fall off considerably.

Speaking of the Titans, there was a rumor that the Titans were thinking of running some Miami Dolphins Wildcat plays in order to get Son of Zeus Vince Young involved in the game. They thought the better of it since Son of Zeus Vince Young's man-vagina is still hurting.

The Curse of the Funky Spunk Monkeys strikes again this season. The Monkeys are my fantasy league football team. So far my starting quarterbacks have been Carson Palmer, Jon Kitna and Kyle Orton. Palmer is most likely done for the season, Kitna is done for the season and now Orton is probably out until week 13. Watch out Joe Flacco, my new starter.

My Player of the Week is Green Bay WR Donald Driver. He put up 136 yards on 7 receiptions for one TD in an overtime losing effort against the Titans.

And finally, as usual, the Texans. Oy Vey. They go into Minnesota on a three game streak and lose. The offensive line was pushed around all day long. Matt Schaub got hurt on what some call a dirty play by Jared Allen. Schaub is out for two to four weeks with a surgically repaired MCL. Sage Rosenfels came in at halftime in relief duty. He looked very Schaub like when under pressure and maked some Schaub like interceptions. All the Sage fans get their chance to see the hero of the Colts game take the reins for the next few weeks.

The Ravens and their nasty defense comes to town this weekend for the only November home game. It's a must win for the Texans for no the reason is that it may be their only win of the month given their road record.

Goodnight and don't forget to wash after you wipe.