NFL Week #5

Where to start this week?

I'm going with the Dallas Cowboys and the Kansas City Chiefs. It was a valiant try by the Chiefs but they are just not even a decent team. The Chiefs and Raiders are fielding Junior Varsity teams right now.

On the other hand, Dallas, how did you let KC stick around for so long? If it wasn't for the combination of Austin Miles carrier receiving day (10 catches, 250 yards and 2 TDs) and inept Chiefs tackling, we'd all be snickering at the Cowboys. Aw hell, I'm snickering anyway.

JaMarcus Russell had another Russell day at the office. 8 completions on 13 attempts for 100 yards and three fumbles. It's why one of my weekly awards is named after him.

The Bengals! Whodda thunk it? 4-1. Not only 4-1 but the fashion they've done it in. With a strong running game from Cedric Benson, a healthy Carson Palmer and a defense. This week they scored in the closing seconds to stun the Baltimore Ravens. Some fans wanted Marv Lewis gone after last season. Changing coaches is a perilous task.

Speaking of changing coaches, how did that work out for you Cleveland? The Mangenius was shown the door after three seasons in New York. He's working his magic again in Cleveland. There may already be some rebelling among the players. What do you expect when you fine a player $1701 for taking a bottled water from the hotel? If I were Cleveland fan, I'd be pining for the days of Romeo Crennell. They are a disaster...a 6-3 win over Buffalo.

San Francisco returned to earth for a bit. After blasting the Rams in week four, they tables were turned as the Falcons dismantled them this week. They pinned 477 yards on the 49ers and held them to 279.

Stat Line of the Week
Miles Austin - Cowboys vs. Chiefs
10 receptions, 250 yards, 2 TD
Only reason he didn't have more is because he ran out of field because the Chiefs weren't stopping him.

Vince Young/JaMarcus Russell Player of the Week
Derek Anderson - QB Browns
2 completions, 17 attempts, 23 yard, O TD, 1 INT, 15.3 passer rating

Not Man Enough to Write
Andrew Perloff - sportillustrated.com
In his week 4 Against the Grain column, Perloff offered this backhanded praise to the Denver Broncos:

1. Congrats to the Broncos for the 4-0 start. And condolences in advance for your 4-4 record at the midway point (Their next games are New England, at San Diego, at Baltimore and Pittsburgh). A home win over the Cowboys is supposed to be the crowning win that convinces us all they're for real?

Instead of admitting that Denver might be the real deal, in his week five column, he goes to the logic of a three year old.

That being said, if the Pats played Denver in Foxborough, Mass., they would have won by two touchdowns.

It's no wonder Andrew Perloff is forever enshrined in Unkle Monkee's Official List of Hacks.

There was a Vince Young sitting in Tennessee this week. He was actually on the field. Playing! Of course, it was meaningless playing time. I didn't see what point he entered the game as I had quit watching. The cries for Young to start are getting louder in inbred methland. Don't worry inbreds, Young will be starting soon. Not to save the season because it's lost already. No, it will be his dress rehearsal for next season. His escalator clause in his contract kicks in and the Titans need to see if he is worth keeping around, cutting or negotiating to reduce his contract.

That's my story for this week and I'm sticking to it.

New Blog Feature - Official Hack List

I've added a link of official hacks. The links are in order of irrelevance.

Leading off the list is the Houston Chronicle's Richard Justice. Justice is the official mouth piece for the University of Texas. Just a couple examples: A raw deal for UT from flawed system and UT claims another win for the ages. His wonderful column featuring Vince Young when the Titans came to town was well received. Who really wants to read about the whining, crying, pouting, sulking back up quarterback of the best team in the NFL at the time? Evidently Justice and the Chronicle editorial staff did. The backlash on the comments section was hilarious. My personal favorite comment went along the lines of "Is this the first feature on back up quarterbacks in the NFL. I can't wait for your feature on Brooks Bollinger."

Not only is he shill for the Longhorns, he evidently carries a personal grudge against the Texans. On one of his recent columns was pretty much a crying session because the Texans fired his buddies...the strength coach and a trainer. They were friends going back to the days when Justice covered the Redskins. The column is filled with stories and quotes from unnamed sources and no support. Bigfatdrunk at DGDG&D does a great job of picking the column apart.

Andy Perloff's Against the Grain is probably the worst blog out there. He claims to be "not your average football anaylsis." He's right in one aspect. It's not average. It's well below average. I've also taken to calling him Captain Obvious because he doesn't have one original thought in his blog. Like this week's gem. He writes about the Chargers shouldn't be afraid to let LT walk. I haven't heard this idea or discussion any where. I love to go onto his comment section and rail on him. I hope he keeps writing cause I love to go read the train wreck.

It took me a while to label Jason Whitlock a hack. However his column giving Tony Dungy and the Colts defense a pass while blaming the loss Peyton Manning earned the hack label. His continued excuse making for Ball State's last two losses also factored in him earning the title of hack. I have more about my recent Jason Whitlock - Hack post.

Jerome Solomon hasn't posted any hack material lately but take my word he's still a hack.

More coming to the list is warranted.