Tuesday, September 15, 2009

NFL Week #1

NFL Week #1
Somebody actually got on me for not having this out yet. What the phuk is wrong with you?

Side note: I finally got around to watching Tropic Thunder. Other than Robert Downey playing an Australian who under went a controversial race change operation, it was a pretty crappy movie.

Moving along, Thursday night football with the Titans at the Steelers was a great game. It was a real man’s game, not that Kurt Warner pretty boy scoring bullshit. It was hard hitting defense and running with a pass to keep the defense honest. It was appropriate that it went into overtime. The only draw back was Troy Palomalu going out with an injury. I hate seeing the great ones losing playing time to injury. I had a hard time choosing who to root for given that I hate both teams.

With my cheering dilemma in mind, I came up for a few simple rules on who to pull for in a game not involving your favorite team.
1. Always pull for the team playing the Cowboys.
2. Always cheer against a divisional foe.
3. If two divisional foes are playing, go for the team lowest in the standings.
4. Only root for a divisional opponent if their win enhances your team’s playoff chances or gives your team home field advantage in playoffs.
5. If the game has no affect on your team then go with your gut and cheer for the team you hate the least. For example, I hate the Steelers. I hate Kurt Warner. The question during the Super Bowl was who do I hate more: Steelers or Warner? Considering that I wouldn’t mind seeing Warner carried out in a body bag, I cheered for the Steelers to kill Warner and outcome be damned.

The Weekly Honors

Vince Young/Joe Pisarcik Player of the Week
Michael Crabtree – unsigned rookie
Crabtree, feeling that the 49ers are under bidding him, not only is holding out but is threatening to sit out the year and reentering the draft next year. Crabtree needs to Google baseball player Matt Harrington. The Colorado Rockies drafted Harrington 7th overall. He refused to sign his original rookie contract under the advice of his agent. He reentered the draft four more times. Each time he was selected lower than the previous year. He never signed or played in the major leagues.

Box Score Line of the Week
Drew Brees – 26 completions on 34 attempts for 358 yards and SIX touchdowns with one interception.

Herm Edwards Coach of the Week
Gary Kubiak – The Texans, with playoff aspirations, came out flat on both sides of the ball. The Texans made no adjustments through out the game and let a rookie quarterback making his first start carve up the defense. 15 more games like this and Kubiak will be looking for a new job.

Thursday, September 10, 2009

Week 1 Unkle Monkee vs. the Spread

NFL Week 1 Picks

It’s that time of year again. Me vs. the Spread.


The rules are simple. I’m using the odds posted on Foxsports.com which lists odds from different book makers. I went with the odds posted on Tuesday so if there are any discrepancies it's due to updated odds. Most are usually the same spread but when a difference occurs, I go with the majority. If there is no line posted, I cannot make it a selection and call it a pick ‘em. Pushes don’t count since in Vegas I wouldn’t win or lose.


I didn’t keep a running tally last year but I have it on empirical evidence that I would have lost my ass in Vegas. I will try to keep a running tally this year. I won’t pick straight up. That’s too easy and that’s the reason there are point spreads.


Over/under bets are sucker bets so I don’t pick.


Titans (+6) @ Steelers – Titans may have a chip on their shoulders after posting the best record but failing to advance in the playoffs. Steelers and the home crowd will be fired up. I imagine a defensive battle. Take the Titans and the points.


Dolphins (-4) @ Falcons – The two surprise teams of last season meet first. The Falcons defense has plenty of holes but the “Wildcat” formation became decreasingly productive. I’ll stick with the road favorite Dolphins.


Chiefs (+13) @ Ravens - Double digit spreads are usually a dangerous bet. I think this game is the exception to the rule. The Chiefs are a mess with no apparent offensive direction. Mix in the Ravens defense at home and a happy blowout occurs. Ravens.


Broncos (+4) @ Bengals – Broncos are in bad shape. The Bengals look to return to the playoff hunt with Carson Palmer back at quarterback. Bengals win handily.


Vikings (-4) @ Browns – The point spread was from 3-4.5 but two books have a 4 point spread. Drama Queen Brett Favre makes his Vikings debut. Adrian Peterson runs amok in Cleveland. Another road favorite wins. Vikings.


Jaguars (+7) @ Colts – Plenty of question marks in this game. Was 2008 just an off season for the Jags. Will the loss of Tony Dungy affect Peyton Manning? This much I know, the Colts are much better team than the Jags. Colts.


Lions (+13) @ Saints – Drew Brees in one of the best in the game and the Lions are one of the worst. The Lions though have been purged and a new regime rules the land. While they don’t win, I think an inspired Lions make it a closer than 13 point contest. Lions.


Cowboys (-6) @ Buccaneers – Uh boy, I don’t even have to try on this selection. Bucs have gone from contender to laughing stock in two seasons. Jon Gruden is gone and so is the new offensive coordinator before just days before the season. Cowboys.


Jets (+4.5) @ Texans – Two books had Jets (+5), two had Jets (+4.5) and one had no line. I went with the 4.5 spread to avoid the possibility of a push. Texans plan to unveil their new defense against the Jets rookie quarterback. The Jets will try to pound the ball and the Texans run defense is suspect. The Texans are a good home team. Texans.


Eagles (-2) @ Panthers – Panthers were a disaster in the playoffs and I expect a hangover from that loss. The Eagles though were one game away from the Super Bowl and are reloaded. Eagles.


49ers (+6.5) @ Cardinals – The Cards bulked up the running game with Beanie Wells and still boast the three headed WR monster of Anquan Bolden, Larry Fitzgerald and Steve Breaston. Cards win handily at home.


Rams (+8.5) @ Seahawks – 8.5 points is to much for an opening game. Every team is fired up at some level about the season opener. I think bookies are banking on people remembering last year’s listless Rams. Rams lose but cover the spread.


Redskins (+6.5) @ Giants – Again too many points for a home opener and two division rivals who have an intense rivalry. Redskins make a game of it and cover.


Bears (+3.5) @ Packers – Bookies are giving Green Bay a slight advantage. Usually in a close match up the home team is good for 3 points. This is going to be a good game. I’m going to take the Bears and the points.


Bills (+10.5) @ Patriots – The Bills are another team who fired the offensive coordinator days before the season opener. The Terrell Owens show is in town. Dick Juaron is on the hotseat. Tom Brady returns from his injury ready to prove he’s healthy. Pats roll the Bills on Monday Night Football.


Chargers (-9) @ Raiders – Bookies are counting on people remembering the Raiders of last year and forgetting the Chargers. The Chargers started off slow. This is an intense division rivalry. Raiders lose but cover.


Well there you have it. Remember this is for my entertainment only. If you are making picks based on me then you're one sick fuck.

Monday, September 7, 2009

Houston Cougars 55 Northwestern St. 7

Honestly it was nothing more than a glorified scrimmage. The Northwestern St. Demons were merely a sacrificial lamb to the College Football Gods.

The Demons visit was a homecoming of sorts for their head coach Bradley Peveto. Peveto served as UH defensive coordinator in another life.

The announced attendance was a little over 22,000. I find it a little disappointing considering the expectations for the Cougars this year. I'd like to see more UH alum and casual fans come out the games. This is nothing new and has been an on going problem since long before I attended UH.

On the field the offense, lead by junior QB Case Keenum, looked ready for the season. Keenum picked up from where he left off last season. He tossed the ball for 355 yards while completing 23 of 30 attempts (76.7%). He threw four touchdown passes and ran another one in. He played the first half and one series into the second half.

The defense pretty much manhandled the hapless Demons all night save for one TD drive and when the back ups started to play.

The only concern going forward is the special teams. One blocked extra point, one missed field goal and a long return late in the game show that there is room for improvement.

As for the back ups, RB Wilson seemed to have a nice night. QB Cotton Turner looked like he had first game jitters but hopefully that's all it is. Right now I'm not to confident on how he'd handle a game should Keenum go down. Heralded true freshman A.J. Dugat burned his redshirt last night and made his debut. He got a late start practicing with the Cougars due to a delay in the NCAA clearing him to play. He had a nice catch on his first play and had a few other attempts thrown his way.

Next up the Coogs travel to Stillwater, OK to take on the Oklahoma St. Cowboys. The No. 9 Cowboys beat the No. 13 Georgia Bulldogs in Stillwater 24-10. The win should move them up in the rankings. The Coogs need to bring the A+++ game to win.

Block "H" Formation

Player Intros


Opening Kick Off


Wednesday, August 19, 2009

David Wetzel's Questionable Source on Michael Crabtree

I'm a little late with this but....

I love a writer who never let's facts get in the way of a good story. For instance, take Yahoo.com writer Dan Wetzel. He does a column on San Francisco 49er's holdout Michael Crabtree. The headline reads 49ers’ Crabtree conducts convoluted holdout and the article leads you to believe that Crabtree himself came out and said he will reenter next years draft if he doesn't get his money.

A sampling of Wetzel's comments:
Crabtree has decided that he shouldn’t have to be paid less because – based on all the made-up, predicted drafts – Al Davis made a mistake. He wants to be paid more than Heyward-Bey, demanding his contract reflect that it was actually he who was the higher selected receiver.

We are prepared to do it,” David Wells, a cousin of Crabtree, told ESPN.

Crabtree apparently operates in a world ruled by Mel Kiper Jr.


The second quote points out the flaw logic of Wetzel on Crabtree's flawed logic. Wetzel is taking what someone else said as proof of what's going on behind closed door negotiations.

Look very carefully at the source of the quote. David Wells. A cousin of Crabtree. Not his agent, not his lawyer, not his spokesmen. His cousin.

Now go read the real story on ESPN.com. The headline is Adviser: Crabtree could re-enter draft. If you bother to read the whole article, you'd see that Crabtree's agent, not David Well, states that there is no such threat about holding out for more money or reentering the draft. In fact, the agent, Eugene Parker tells ESPN.com:
You've known me a long time and I'm not a guy who makes threats. Nor am I a guy who negotiates in the public. I don't know where this came from but no such threat has been made.


Wetzel may not be wrong on his assessment. We really don't know what's going on behind closed doors. We don't know how much or how little an amount he 49ers are offering.

Wetzel goes wrong in treating a questionable source as a primary source of information. At best, the advisor/cousin, might know what's going on but he might just be part of Crabree's posse with no real information. I'd tend to believe the quotes more if they came from Crabtree or his agent but not his cousin.

Monday, August 17, 2009

Newsflash: Tiger Woods is Human

Calm the hell down people. The sky isn't falling. The second coming of Christ hasn't happened. Ming the Merciless isn't outside our solar system fighting Flash Gordon.

Yet some people are reacting like that because, hold your breath, Tiger Woods lost a lead and a tournament.

On the local news, Houston Foxnews 26, the sportscaster made a big deal about a Tiger choke.

ESPN2's First Take lead off with Tiger losing and making drama out of it.

It all boils down to one thing. Last I checked, Tiger Woods is human. He's the greatest golfer of our lifetime (arguably the best ever) but he does lose occasionally. He even can lose a lead.

He doesn't heal the sick. He doesn't walk on water. He doesn't fly. He's human. He's bound to lose every once and a while.

The media, as usual, are just acting like drama queens.

It's called an upset. North Carolina St. over Houston. Villanova over Georgetown. NY Jets over Baltimore. NY Giants over New England. These things happen.

If I'm Woods, I'm sitting at home with my model wife and kids enjoying a beer and laughing at all the media hysterics.

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Favre Stays Retired, What's Peter King to Do?

Drama Queen Brett Farve decided to stay retired. Not without the Minnesota Vikings putting every effort they could into signing Favre. In the end, Favre decided he didn't want to go through the grind of NFL life anymore. Or he remembered how awful he played down the stretch last year.

Now the Vikings are in the awkward position of going back to Plan B aka Tarvaris Jackson and Sage Rosenfails. How do you go to your current quarterbacks and tell them,"Well Favre decided to not play. We love you guys."

To top it off, the front office recruited players to call Favre and try to sell him on signing with the team. No dice. Now either Jackson or Rosenfails will have to look at players in the huddle and think that their own guys tried to sell them down the river for Farve.

Good luck to Jackson. I think he probably wins the battle for quarterback. Rosenpenis is a turnover machine. He turned the ball over as much as Texans starter Matt Schaub in half as many games while filling in.

Congrats Vikings, he's your problem now.

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

The NFL's Problem Children

I finally decided to weigh in on the legal woes of three NFL players and the spot commissioner Roger Goodell finds himself in.

When Goodell to the reins of the NFL, he promised more law and order. He worked with players and the players union to come up with a personal conduct code for players, coaches and basically all NFL personnel. In his term he has suspended several players including high profile problem child Adam Pacman Jones. The policy doesn't just include legal problems but an behavior that can tarnish the league's brand. So far I believe Goodell has done a good job of using his judgment.

First, I'm going to go back to a show I heard on ESPN Radio. I can't remember the show but an interesting question was raised around the time Goodell issued an indefinite suspension to WR Donte Stallworth and the postponement of Plaxico Burress's court date. Typically Goodell waits until a case has wound through the legal system before issuing his ruling.

The host asked his callers this question: Should Roger Goodell be judge, jury and executioner and punish a player more severely if the legal system doesn't seem harsh enough? He was referring to Stallworth's case. Stallworth received a relatively light sentence for DUI and manslaughter while Michael Vick received more prison time for killing dogs. Stallworth served 30 days in prison and received probation for killing a pedestrian while intoxicated. The host didn't take sides as the question was posed for discussion.

I started to think about the personal conduct policy and Goodell's duty as commissioner. I think the question boils down to one simple concept. The NFL is a private business enterprise with the goal of making money. Goodell's job is to steer the ship and to maximize the profits of the business. He has the duty to protect the image and marketability of the league. If a players actions hurt the image of the league, then Goodell has the right to punish those players. Players are the most visible employees of the league. How they behave and act off the field can impact the league as much as play on the field.

In the private sector, employees usually have to adhere to some kind of behavior policies at work. Just as a player can get suspended for getting a DUI, an employee in the private sector can be terminated, suspended or other actions. A company, and the NFL, must act to protect its best interest.

While Goodell is under no obligation to come down hard on a player, he has every right to do so in the interest of preserving the integrity of the NFL.

I wrote all that to preface what I think Goodell should do in the cases of Vick, Stallworth and Burress.

Michael Vick took a hard fall. He was on top of the football player financially, in popularity and successfully on and off the field. That was until it was discovered that he funded a dog fighting ring. Vick did federal time for his crimes. He lost all his wealth and filed bankruptcy. In all but a few quarters he is wildly unpopular.

In my opinion, I think Goodell should reinstate Vick. His crimes were horrendous. He lied initially about his activities. In no way, shape or form do I condone what Vick did. What I believe though is Vick paid a huge penalty. I also believe he should have a chance at redemption. The commissioner has stated that Vick must prove that he is sorry for his crimes. If Goodell truly believes that Vick in humble and sorry, I think there is no further reason to not allow him to play. However, Goodell also should make it very clear that any further mishaps may lead to a permanent ban from the NFL. Despite if he is reinstated, Vick must still convince a team owner, GM and coach to sign him. Just because Vick is reinstated doesn't mean he will ever play another down of football again. Teams may choose not to sign him. It's a big public relations risk to sign him. I believe whether or not to sign him should be left up to the individual team.

In the case of Donte Stallworth, Goodell should issue an definite suspension. Unfortunately, I can't judge on what length of suspension is appropriate. Like Vick, I no way condone Stallworth's actions. Stallworth killed a man while driving intoxicated. In an image driven business, perceptions are everything. Some seem to think Stallworth skated with a 30 day sentence and probation. For whatever reason, the judge, prosecutor and probably the victim's family all decided it was enough. Stallworth took responsibility for his actions. He didn't try to run from the law or blame others. He settled up financially with the family. No matter what a price
cannot be put on human life. However, Stallworth paid the family and they seemed content and that is their business on how they handled the situation.

Goodell probably will weigh Stallworth's actions and what appears to be honest behavior and responsibility along with the seriousness of the situation and, of course, the perceptions of Stallworth's legal consequences. In the end, I think Stallworth should be reinstated and allow teams to make their own decisions on to sign him or not.

Finally at the opposite end of the spectrum is Plaxico Burress. Generally Goodell awaits the legal system before making his decisions. In the case of Burress, he imposed an indefinite suspension. I think it's mostly because of Burress actions after the incident that Goodell acted. Burress has done everything but take personal responsibility for his actions. He tried to get others to cover up for him. He used a fake name at the hospital where received treatment. He has not tried to reach a plea agreement. He's putting off settling the case in hopes of playing the 2009 season. Instead of waiting for the case to come to a conclusion, Goodell is being proactive and gathering information on Burress. It is likely Goodell issues his punishment before the a judge and jury do. If being honest, contrite and responsible are traits highly valued by Goodell then Burress is probably gone for the season.

My Sports Allegiances

My favorite teams are in no particular order: Houston Texans, San Antonio Spurs(NBA champs 99, 03, 05, 07, 14) and the Houston Cougars, Pittsburgh Penguins (Stanley Cups 91, 92, 08, 16, 17)
My secondary teams are: Houston Dynamo(MLS Champs 06, 07), Houston Astros (NL Champs 05), Houston Rockets (NBA Champs 94, 95)
Teams I Hate: Anything out of Dallas
Teams I Enjoy Seeing Lose: Texas Longhorns, Texas A&M Aggies, Baylor Bears football
Teams that are Insignificant: rice owls